I keep a pantheon of my favorite movies that don't necessarily achieve the type of critical acclaim to place them on any prestigious lists, or really any lists unless they're being made fun of. But I unironically love all of these, thus, I present the "Best" movies of all-time (not really in much of an order), and hope for your participation.

1. Road House - Patrick Swayze adds a bad boy image to follow up on Dirty Dancing by cleaning up the Double Deuce and ripping out a denim-loving bad guy's throat. 9 stars out of 9.

1. Labyrinth - If you exhausted your mental capacity looking for ways to make this Bowie-starring "children's movie" any stranger, you would only make the movie more normal. Every scene is just bizarro perfection.

2. An American Tail - as a Jew, whose family came over from the old country, this one touches a sweet spot for me. Also, it's a friggin' great cartoon.

3. Mannequin. A hapless haptard who keeps getting fired lucks into a job fixing up windows at a (presumably NYC?) department store. He's clueless - because again, he's gotten fired from every job we've seen him have - so one of the mannequins (who he incidentally made during his brief failed stint in mannequin production) comes to life and creates earth-shatteringly beautiful window displays, saving the store from bankruptcy as everyone comes to gape.


Mannequin also gave us Hollywood Montrose - a gift we weren't even ready for.

4. Big Trouble in Little China - Kim Cattrall's 2nd appearance on the list comes from an absolutely batshit action movie with some of the least frightening puppet-based "monsters" seen on film.


5. Hunk - Gem of an 80s movie. A nerd makes a deal with the devil to become a Hunk. The devil - an attractive female lead - is inexplicably named "O'Brien". I'm still pretty hung up on that detail...

6. The Wizard - my absolute favorite childhood movie still holds up perfectly.


Edited because I just realized that I left out Youngblood! I don't even like hockey, but I'll be damned if I don't love that movie. Rob Lowe, P Swayze, and Keanu handled the hockey and a bangin' Cynthia Gibbs ushered me into manhood.