So, I have been super busy with my new job that I started this last Monday, and it really has eaten into my time. My new company is pretty great, I like my job, I like the people at my office, and am rather well liked I believe. I am also one of the younger people in my office, relative to everybody else. I would say the average age of the office is around 40 to 45. And everything has gone pretty smooth this week until yesterday.

This time of year, it is not uncommon to work 7 days a week, and Saturdays are practically mandatory. On the weekends you usually cut out around 2 or 3 depending on how busy you are, but that is not all that uncommon.

Well, I am a people person and a rather outgoing fella, and I make friends pretty quickly, I mean I work in sales, it's part of my job to be liked. I don't really know how to put this, but the receptionist asked me to come over to her place for drinks when we were walking out the door. Now maybe she just wanted to have some drinks, but I had a feeling she meant Drinks with some sex. She is older than me by I would say a good 10 to 13 years, a mom, and divorced, and I like most of you know have a girlfriend, which she also knew. I talk to everybody that will listen to me about my girl she is a wonderful human being and I am lucky to have her. That being said, I declined the offer to go have drinks with her.

I am racked with guilt now. Not because I said no, but because of these 2 thoughts that ran through my head:

1.I could totally get away with this.

2.I have not been with another woman in 5 years, and this sounds like fun.

I feel ashamed of myself because these thoughts ran through my head. I didn't act on them, but I still fucking thought them. They just popped right up in my head. It's not like I have a hard time being loyal at all, I have never been a cheater, but it surprised me that those thoughts actaully ran through my fucking dome piece and they actually make me feel ashamed/and guilty.


I don't know about yall, but this thing called being human really likes to fuck with me sometimes.