In Missouri, some guy actually said in public, knowing full well that he was being recorded, that he thought women should put as least as much thought into getting abortions as he does into buying a new car or picking out new carpet. What? They're all big decisions, guys. Man's got a point, that's all I'm saying. What we must do is go farther than he did. He only wants mandatory abortion waits. I think he's right about more than the abortions, though: I typically spend absolutely no time picking out cars before I buy them, because I buy cars for a few hundred dollars from friends. And at least twice, I've regretted it. There should be mandatory car-buying waiting periods. And if we had the same for the carpet, we never would have started the shag craze.

We could have stopped shag carpeting. Dude's a visionary.

Also, Mike Huckabee has noticed that women go to the bathroom together, unlike men who choose to bond by hunting and fishing.