My cat, Mei, has been sneezing in my face. Like, not on my leg or my feet, but a direct money shot sneeze to the face. It's one the most disgusting things ever. After about the fourth time in as many days, I wondered if she had a slight cold, though she's certainly not acting sick. She's still eating, drinking, fetching and in high spirits BUT she's also coughing, or maybe she's hacking up hair. I really don't know because she has never done either.
However it's been hot here in So-Cal and Mei has layers upon layers upon layers of fur so she very well may be doing it to herself. At this point in the RedWriter household, her fur is just floating around in the air. I brush her twice a day, for twenty minutes (or a Judge Judy episode) and then vacuum after I'm done. But she's like a cat version of Dolly Surprise except I can't crank her arm to make the hair go back in.

Anyhow, I call the vet to make an appointment and after giving them my information, they tell me I'm behind on my pet insurance because my debit card is coming back declined (oops, forgot to switch over my information when I got the new one.) So I'm already feeling horrible because the cats weren't covered and I looked like an asshole. AND THEN the receptionist starts asking me questions:
Receptionist: "How long has she been doing this?"
Me: "Umm...I don't know. At least four days."
Receptionist: "Any other symptoms?"
Me: "Yeah I think she's been coughing."
Receptionist: "She's coughing?"
Me: "I think so. She might just have a hairball. But I can't tell. I don't think I've ever heard her cough before."
Receptionist: "Ok, so she might be coughing. How long has it been going on?"
Me: "I don't know. She just keeps sneezing on me and it's gross."

I sound horrible right? And I realized this as I was talking and tried to show the receptionist that I was a good pet owner by giving other examples. Mei got really sick last year and it didn't even take me a day to notice. I've had her since she was eight weeks and she's my shadow and she ALWAYS comes when I call her. When I had to tear the house apart looking for her, I realized something was wrong and immediately took her to the vet. My other cat, Felix, is ALLERGIC TO FLEAS. Did you know that was a thing?! Do you know how expensive that got because I didn't realize it in time?

I told the receptionist all these things. She didn't care. I knew she wouldn't; I just wanted to clear my name.