Here will be the head-shaking headline that both your racist uncle and bleeding heart niece will send you tomorrow, each wringing their hands about violence in Chicago:

Group robs woman on Michigan Avenue of up to $200K in jewelry, cash…

And strangely enough, both of them will blame Obama in some way.

For the record, I made it home tonight with the $75 in my wallet and iPhone. Took public transportation, and walked two miles through the city.