I could have said "Governor's Election" but "Gubernatorial" is such a great word. Gubernatorial. Gubernatorial. Guuuubernatorial.

If you haven't been following the race, the two candidates for governor are Terry McAulliffe (D) and Ken Cuccinelli (R). Up for Lt. Governor are some democrat with tragic eyebrows (D) and E. W. Jackson (R).

To be completely honest, I'm pretty uninspired by both candidates. I contemplated not voting but then I woke up this morning and noticed my neighbor had put up "Cuccinelli For Governor" signs in his yard. I cut my lunch break short to personally ensure that his vote was neutralized.

If this were a contest to pick your favorite ice cream flavor, McAulliffe would be vanilla. He is boring and totally uninspiring. However, he is the least offensive flavor on the ballot and thus is expected to win. Cuccinelli, on the other hand, is butter pecan. Butter pecan is gross and only people with bad taste (and old people) like it. If you like butter pecan then you ain't no friend of mine.

To continue with the ice cream metaphor, E.W. Jackson would be like a soggy waffle cone full of horse shit. The democratic candidate for Lt. Gov is plain yogurt that has been left out of the fridge for a couple of hours. (Is it safe to eat? It kinda smells funny, but maybe that's just my imagination...)

But the rural south is a weird place where up is down, and left is right, and Obama is a Muslim Fascist Nazi raised in Kenya. 47% of Virginian voters (so far) chose the horse shit.


And so with 82% of precincts reporting, Cuccinelli has has a 1 point lead (47%-46%) on McAulliffe. I am getting nervous.

Also Sarvis is running for governor.