Sad news of flooding in the Calgary, AB area, made hilarious by a news report written by someone whose first language is decidedly not English:

Over 100 thousand people can leave their homes in the next few days due to heavy floods in the south of the Canadian province of Alberta, including the suburbs of Calgary. This was reported by the local authorities. In the police received a report about the death of a woman
Because of the prolonged heavy rains rivers burst their banks, and heavy streams of water washed away roads and bridges carry cars, waterlogged homes and felled trees and power line pylons. Mudslides forced to close a number of sites on the Trans-Canada highway, resulting in complete isolation were of Banff and Canmore. According to the forecasts of meteorologists in the coming two days on the already affected by the disaster areas will fall further to 10 inches of rain.
Specifically in Calgary - a city of 1 million people, took to the 1988 Winter Olympic Games - in six areas along the Elbow River, the state of emergency, reports ITAR-TASS .
"We shoot people who had not managed to evacuate from the rooftops," - said a police sergeant Partrisha Neely.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper has ordered provincial authorities to provide all necessary assistance.
"Units of the armed forces, including helicopter squadron deployed to flood areas to carry out jointly with the provincial emergency services search and rescue operations," - he said in a written statement released.

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