[ETA] After thinking it over and receiving advice, I have come to a sudden and rather obvious realization. She still has some feelings for him. She probably feels weird about me being in his house.

I also noticed that she dropped off a bread machine for him, and she put it on his bed "as a joke." Yes, it's hilarious, and it's a not-so-subtle message that she doesn't want me sleeping in his bedroom. (There's a perfectly serviceable guest bedroom in the house, so it's not an inconvenience for me.) She might as well be peeing in the corner to mark her territory.

Whether or not this has any long-term meaning for her is immaterial, nor does it indicate whether they'll end up together again. She can't let go, even as she goes about dating other people. And so I should just do my best to stay out of it and not get in her way, not because I think her behavior is cool. It is not. But if they end up together again, I stand the risk of isolating myself from my buddy if or when they've made it official. But I don't see either of them genuinely moving on anytime soon, so I have to treat it like a legitimate possibility.

Thanks for all the advice! It helped me get out of my own head, as I like to say.


I house sit. During this summer I've had four separate house sitting gigs, because it's nice. I like pets and plants, and I don't like paying for my own outrageous AC bills. (My studio apartment is a bit of a hot box in the summer, because it's an old building with no insulation.)


I have one house that I am in semi-regularly. It's a nice place and the guy is cool. Also, my responsibilities are minimal. Mostly, he wants someone in the house to deter theft, not that I'm going to stop a determined criminal, but whatever.

But he has a friend of inconclusive relations. She's his ex, although she does things that are not at all in keeping with actually being an ex. Her toothbrush is here. She regularly has Fed-Ex drop off her packages. She treats the house like its hers. The last time I was house sitting, she walked in on me while I was standing in the kitchen naked. And despite my repeated requests that she call first, she just dropped in five minutes ago after I had just gotten out of the shower.

Asking nicely hasn't done any good. Who knows? Maybe she doesn't care. Maybe she's sending me a subtle message about her ownership of the guy and the place. I don't give a shit, I just want her to call before she comes over. What can I do? Snarky and ambitious answers are okay, as well as serious advice.