Was having a perfectly normal day, ran into some of the other neighborhood moms (and one nanny) and we were having a perfectly nice conversation just making small talk when out of the blue the nanny starts going on about the Illuminati and how God put Trump in office to protect us from them.

You could almost hear the record scratch sound effect.

One of the other moms tried to engage her to see if there was a way to get some sense back into her head. (The rest of us just stood there aghast and/or responding to imaginary texts we had just received.) Then she started to talk about how she learned all this from her boyfriend and boy when he first told her about it she really thought it sounded crazy, but the more she learned about it the more sense it made. She then went into a digression about how if you look at Beyonce’s recent pregnancy announcement, you can see all the signs right there. “She’s mocking the word of God, the image of the triangle is right there ... ”

I excused myself because I was afraid she was going to bring up Lizard People and there ain’t no way I was keeping a straight face through a Lizard People lecture.

I do not know this woman well, but I have known her for well over a year and she always seemed like she had a good head on her shoulders. Now I feel like I might be the worst judge of character ever.


Anyway. I just had to get that off my chest. Hail, Hydra, mother-fuckers!