Have you ever wondered what people in, say, 1400 called their genitals? No? You're a lying scumbag.

Thanks to io9 and Jonathon Green, author of Green's Dictionary of Slang, you can now find out what gentlemen have called their members or ladies have called their lady bits since the 14th century.

In addition to allowing one to giggle like a thirteen year-old at "love truncheon" (1888) and "central office" (1896), it's helpful in case of time travel. Let's say that you, as a guy, somehow travel back to 1523 and someone says that they want to play with your fiddle. Maybe they're a musician, maybe they want to do something more fun than playing "Greensleeves." Or you, as a woman, find yourself in 1890 and a man approaches you saying that he longs to spend eternity in Abraham's bosom. Chances are, he's probably not an evangelist (although, given evangelists' track record, he very well could be).