Well, what most of us are thinking: Nation Admits It Would’ve Been Fun To Watch Marcus Smart Beat Absolute Shit Out Of Fan

"Obviously any violence at a sporting event is completely and utterly unacceptable regardless of circumstance, but, I don't know, part of me would have liked to watch Marcus Smart take that fat, loud-mouthed asshole by his Texas Tech polo shirt and pummel the ever-living fuck out of him," said 36-year-old McLean, VA resident Alan Mitscher, adding that seeing a middle-aged man who maliciously heckles teenaged college basketball players get his ass kicked on national television would have been "pretty damn satisfying, actually." "To see the look on that smug sack of shit's face right when he realizes the 19-year-old kid he's been verbally abusing is about to knock his fucking teeth out and leave him in a bloody heap on the side of the court—man, that would have been amazing." Citizens from across the nation also told sources that there's no way in hell the fan in question only called Smart "a piece of crap."

Some background: near the end of a game last week, Smart got knocked into the stands near the end of a game and landed in the vicinity of a Texas Tech "superfan" who has made a name for himself by trolling opposing players from his front-row seat. If you're a college student and you're doing this, you're kind of an asshole, but it's what people pretty much expect from the student section, so whatever. If you're a grown-ass man, there is no such excuse.

The superfan in question claims that he called Smart "a piece of crap" and nothing more (which I don't believe for a second, but I wasn't there, so it's theoretically true—Smart says it was something worse, which I am inclined to believe, but the above caveat applies), to which Smart got up and shoved him. (Cough—White!—Cough) America soon got up in arms, shouting that this was the worst thing they'd seen since Richard Sherman talked loudly into a microphone, Smart was (probably rightly) suspended for a few games, and that was that.

Me, I think that far too few fans get the crap beaten out of them by the athletes they scream remarkably offensive things at—or worse.